Dumb Ass "Santa Surprise" gift

In the past, I worked at a place where we regularly have gatherings ...

co-worker gatherings....

and you kinda bond by bitching about work...

Every year we use to have CHRISTMAS PARTIES!!!!

... and one year someone decided to have those things called a


"Santa's Surprise"


Where you pull a name out of a bag and you are suppose to buy this person something (anonymously) that costs up to a certain amount (usually $10.00)


One day, a friend of mine observed a guy pulling a "very quiet girl" co-worker's name out of the hat. This guy doesn't know how to act socially and is kinda "dense"(read: dumb ass).

He asked my friend what he thought that girl would like. Being honest, my friend said he wouldn't know because she's the "quiet girl" who doesn't talk to anyone that much...

.... he suggested some bath set... some soap or something....

but this guy had other plans...

bigger and better plans........



Soon the party day arrived.....

We all gathered around- eating, drinking, talking story...... and the girl, our gracious preppy co-worker who put the party together announced that we were going to open presents.

OH JOY!

Several people opened theirs and got things like : t-shirts, cheap perfume, soap, candles.....

and now it was time for the "quiet girl" who was sitting by herself to open her present....

She had a soft smile....

The party host announced her name and presented her with the present.... labled " To quiet girl, from Santa"...

Her eyes glowed in anticipation and opened it slowly...


and oddly, it was in a brown box. She opened it and looked puzzled. For a better look she took it out.... for all to see.....









IT was a BIG PURPLE DILDO!














No one heard this girl utter anything except for a few words like "Hi" until that day...

Tears streamed down .....

face was red with embarassment....

she was visibly upset.

"If I FIND OUT WHO DID THIS I'll KICK THEIR ASS" she said...........

everyone at the party was extremely quiet for a while...............


after that day the dumb ass guy was called "Dil" at work.