Oh YES! Ask me to DANCE, dumb ass.

Once I was sitting by the wall, quietly nursing my Long Island Ice tea when suddenly I notice a guy comming over............................................ obviously drunk.


I watched him stumble towards me....................in slow-motion-terror.... I, in great anticipation wondering what this drunk guy is about to do.....


"Hello....." he slurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrs. While he makes that prolificly profound word, tangible "things" start to regurgitate from that orifice we call a "mouth"...

some white stuff...

with chunks.

IT WAS VOMIT!

Call David Letterman! This guy had talent! Barfing and talking at the same time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-I, squeezed myself as much as I could against the wall, hoping that somehow I would be granted super human powers like the "Flash" and go through walls.

But sorry, this is reality- world full of dumb asses.

"Would you like to dance?" he asks....

by now he noticed his lip had something on it and he wiped it off with the back of his hand....

"Sorry, No...." I replied, relieved he wasn't stepping a step closer.

Sadly rejected, barf boy turns around... and notices an anomily on the ground as he looked down in defeat....

"Oh shit, I stepped in some BARF" he mutters. Annoyed he tries to wipe it off on a bottom of an unoccupied chair and leaves.

Lesson for all: If you are way too drunk, don't attempt to do anything but pass out into "la la " land. You will look much cuter passed out then going around with barf all over yourself. Certainly wins the "Dumb Ass" award for the night.