DUMB ASS way to get fired

Well this didn't take long.

Here is a real life way of getting fired, the STUPID WAY.


Once upon a time after my Barbie and Ken doll boot camp (also known as flight attendant school) I came across a fellow flight attendant classmate who had tears in her eyes.

"Someone accused me of SLEEEEEEEPING on the JOB!" she sobbed. This girl (let's call her "Mimi" ) was the most OBESE person you ever met.

"I don't know who did this, but I was only reading a magazine in the back seat with my head down...they even said my legs were up on the seat... I don't know how I could do that..."
(((I don't know either, she's too fat to even lift a leg up.....)))

She is always hungy. She eats other people's food. (I'm not poking fun of people who have an eating disorder, I'm merely telling it like it is. She has eaten 5 people's meals before)

Nonetheless I heard later on she eventually got fired.

Besides being obese, this girl was a self proclaimed SEX GODESS. And apparently she does get LAID. (had proof).

One day I was working and I came across a mutual friend. He was actually there to witness the whole thing... he told me "Oh no hun, she was not just sleeping...."

The story:


The three of them were on a flight going to some "sunny" location from this unnamed airport hub. They were unusually light going down to the "sunny" destination and during the layover she hooked up with the ugly van driver who - during their makeout session professed she was too fat and passed her off to another friend.... who ravishely loved her ... in the stairs... bushes.. ect... so the next day she was a bit tired....

Although sleepy, she still went out and got some food prior to the flight.

During her drink service she was chomping on chips and asked politely "Yeah WHADDAYA WANT" for drinks.

After she done her drink service, she promptly shut the sutters in the last row, flung off her high heels and fell asleep with her feet resting against the window......

then later on a passenger wakes her up for a drink.

An off duty flight attendant sees her sleeping and reports her.

buh bye.

AAAAAAAAAAHHHH I am back

Well sorry I got so busy I neglected this blog. But I am back. I will try to find in the recesses of my memory of some dumb ass events.......................

part 2 Airport wierdoes

anyhow.............(music from "Psycho " please)

Part 2:

Now I found out that after the state messed with her, they said that it was INDEED this ANONYMOUS AIRLINE'S FAULT that they sold a ticket to a crazy lady. Anonymous Airlines needs to take care of the lady. Never mind the goverment agencies...

So what happned? Believe it or not, ANONYMOUS AIRLINES hired guards to stay with her in her hotel room while she awaited for that flight to take her back to Japan.


( everyone lied to her, telling her that she is going to D.C.--she desperately wants to meet AL GORE.)

Why did ANONYMOUS AIRLINES hire 2 guards? Well, come to find out, her carry on luggage was a suitcase full of cash.

My friend said it was one million dollars.

So here was my friend yesterday.


At the airport, with Mrs. Al Gore.



There was explicit instructions that NO ONE was to tell this lady that she was going back to JAPAN. Do not breathe a word about it.

First fool, who knew darn well that she wasn't suppose to give the ticket to her, did. My friend and the psycho lady struggled with it and my friend finally took it away from her.

Throughout their wait she was screaming she's being kidnapped.

Finally, they board the delayed aircraft. two rows infront and back are blocked ---just for HER.

Flight attendants were told NOT TO MAKE ANY ANNOUNCEMENT about going to JAPAN. They were told to say just hte flight number.

(Someone made the crazy lady a fake ticket---saying she was going to Washington DC)

When the interpreter made the announcement "This is ANONYMOUS AIRLINES, BOUND FOR JAPAN...ooooops"

Crazy lady went completely psycho.

Of course it didn't help when some old man told the crazy lady to shut the hell up or having a bunch of old ladies trying to walk towards her to check out the crazy lady.

"I am MRS AL GORE!"
"I need to see my husband"

So the flight attendant that made the announcement completely freaked out and called the Captain to get her off the plane.

My friend just had enough of her and grabbed the lady's stuff and commanded her to come along. She spat at the supervisor and became even more uncontrollable so the State sherrif were called (the very people who were investigated for stealing "evidence")

So Mrs. Al Gore is staying a few more days.

No one can get intouch with her family through the Japanese embassy.

If she is hand carrying 1 million dollars, she must be pretty well off.

Who's fault is it to sell crazy people a plane fare?

I've seen this before and the airline usually sends them right back...because immigration won't let them through. NOT this time!

Airport wierdoes

Last week, a close friend of mine was working immigration(at the airport- where you process incomming passengers from an inbound flight) when suddenly there was a commotion.

"I AM MRS. AL GORE. I need to GET TO WASHINGTON D.C. TO VISIT my HUSBAND" said a heavily accented female voice.

The immigration worker wasn't getting no where with her so he screams towards my friend "(AIRLINE NAME)! CAN YOU HELP ME..."

So my friend looks at her passport, name reads "Nobuko Sakamoto". He asks this lady in Japanese "Is your name Mrs. Sakamoto...?"

"NO, I AM MRS. AL GORE"

My friend got flack from these goverment workers.

"(AIRLINE NAME) needs to screen crazy people"
"crazy people shouldn't be permitted to buy tickets..."

and my friend replied

"WELL ISN'T THAT YOUR JOB????"

While in goverment custody she managed to roam around free for a few days and eventually ended up in the State's funny farm.

(Interestingly, Al Gore was in town a few days ago)

Today, at the cost of (ANONYMOUS AIRLINES), she is going home, escorted by my friend who found out this lady is very wealthy.


(ANONYMOUS Airlines) is paying my friend "special assignment pay" so this is interesting...

I thought it was funny envisioning this 4'11 Japanese lady screaming "I am AL GORE's WIFE!"

Oh Miss............... OH MISS!

( this is one of many types of flight attendant call buttons....)

one day my friend and his brother was flying on an airplane.....
he looked up and there was a button that said "stew" on the flight attendant call button.
he pressed it... waiting anxiously.....

eventually the stewardess arrives at his seat.


"Where's the stew? I'm hungy"

Dumb ass Accident - revisited

One of my friends was driving his beater- a nasty old Station Wagon ... ( remember those?)

(those girls there are probably saying "kick ass ride....." )


Well my friend was driving down the street and stopped at a 4 way stop.

Right when he was about to go and enter the intersection..................

HE got rear ended!

So he does the usual thing when we get into an accident... go see if the person in the other car is allright and do a quick inspection of the car.

Either cars have no scratches.

He was just about to tell the lady it was "okay" and let's go on our seperate ways when she said ...


NO! WE NEED TO CALL THE COPS! RIGHT AWAY!




She was obviously on something.....................




my friend kept on telling her that there was no damage on the car and they can go on their seperate ways........

but no..............



WE MUST HAVE THE POLICE HERE!




So when the police arrive he asks for the usual stuff:

"Registration and Insurance card please."

My friend provides his ....

and the lady........


"Oh I dunno............."


"What do you mean you don't know"

" Well, This isn't my car"

"Well who's car is it?"

"Is that drug paraphanellia in the passenger seat?"

(it was as if an episode of "cops" was playing infront of my friend)

The policeman told my friend he could go.... while he questioned this girl further.

All I can say is.......

should of listened to Nancy Reagan!

Dumb Ass way to get an upgrade

For those of you who try to get great airline deals- don't go to a doctor and tell him to write YOU a note to give an AIRLINE EMPLOYEE recomending that YOU, in your sick state of health SHOULD BE ENTITLED TO AN UPGRADE.





Kid you not, that actually happened.




If you try this, we airline employees will be talking about you and laughing about you for years.

ahhhhhhhh another comeback I regret saying.

Now the company I use to work for are probably HAPPY I resigned. But then again, there are people WORSE out there.............


One fine morning I had to work a 5am departure.

If you are in the Airline biz, working as a Flight Attendant or a Pilot- this means a 3:15 am show or pick up from the layover hotel.

- sometimes we work really long hours........

ANYHOW I was working a 5AM departure.

WORKING for an UN-NAMED AMERICAN CARRIER, from a city in Canada, destined to an unmentionable city in the GOOD O'L U.S. of A.

And I was definately NOT IN THE MOOD to deal with some SMART ASS, especially 4AM.

Here I was, around 4:15 am...... greeting passengers like an automaton with my fake "bright white" smile while I was passing out pillows, ect.

and one seemingly calm and collected passenger asked me a normal, simple question:

"Are we getting breakfast on this flight?"

Being very tired, I sort of remember that we were catered with cereal.

I, continuing on with my "bright white" fake smile- I replied:

"I believe we are, and I think it's cereal."

Now suddenly............. I was mesmorized ............... as if by magic, this passenger's face was morphing... it was turning RED... face conTORting from a smile to a frown .... and with that he replied in a really loud voice:

WHAT!!!!

THAT IS OUTRAGEOUS!!!!


ALL CANADIAN AIRLINES SERVE HOT MEALS!


AIR CANADA IS FAR NICER! CANADA 3000 HAS THEM TOO!


Canada is good, canada is superior, ect. ect. ect.


I totally was not in the mood to deal with him on this so what was my simple, non offending reply?


















"Well Sir, WELCOME TO THE UNITED STATES!"

Dumb Ass taking a Joy Ride

Ahhhhhhhh................ Highschool................... remember those days?

This dumb ass story is about what my friend "Tina" did when we were in high school.


Tina was one of those "bad girls" who did fun things like smoking after school, stealing things from stores, ect. and obnoxious....

Anyhow, she lived in a house like this one, where the Garage roof is supported by those thin wooden beams


Tina also lived on a busy street where our high school buses usually passed....

One fine day, Tina was going around telling us proudly that since HER PARENTS are going to be out of town, she's going to drive her mom's BEAUTIFUL NEW MR2 Toyota to school.


ALTHOUGH she never had much experience DRIVING she promised everyone that TOMORROW she will drive this baby to SCHOOL.




REMEMBER kids!(Parents out of town + leaving known trouble making kid at home UNSUPERVISED = trouble)





But there is a PROBLEM.

In this two car garage, her dad had left some boxes on one side of the garage. So the cars were parked one behind the other....

NOW guess what kind of car was parked behind the MR2?

A BIG HUGE CHEVY ASTRO VAN........

Knowing that she just HAD to somehow get that MR 2 to school.... she attempts to move the Astro Van out of the garage so she can take the MR 2 to school.........

So she takes the keys...........

puts it in reverse......




and knocks the wooden pillar down.


Causing the whole garage to collapse like a pancake..............

The roof not only damaged the Van..........



but also......


The MR 2................


AND at that moment, the school bus full of high school kids from our school drives by.......



(and everyone knew that was Tina's house....................)





Lesson for teenage kids: Don't be bragging about you're going to do something like driving when you cant. Be yourself. Don't be a dumb ass.